The dreaded time is when it is the right time to tell him or her you have a chronic illness and there is no cure for it. The best time from experience is to tell them as soon as possible during the dating period before you make it official as girlfriend/boyfriend. If the relationship is meant to be then they will not let the illness get between you both and love you for who you are. It would be the same with any chronic illness such as asthma or an allergy.
The best time is when you think you can trust them the most and this is the best piece of advice I can give anyone suffering from a chronic illness. The relationship between the two of you will grow over time and how you both act around each other. This is the same as trusting each other. If you are too scared to tell them near the start of the relationship do not leave it unsettled for ages as it can also impact the trust levels with your partner unless you are just diagnosed when you are within a relationship and do not want to tell them as it is embarrassing. Yes is can be really embarrassing!! I have told 3 different guys I was dating and the third one told me he did not mind as it is a part of me and makes me who I am.
The more understanding the boy or girl is the better as it makes it easier to tell them about your illness(es) which you have. It also means when you are not feeling 100% they will understand that you would not be able to go out for a date or if you have to spend half of the date in the bathrooms due to eating or drinking something you cannot touch as it does not agree with your stomach. From experience telling the person you are dating is the hardest part in telling them of your illnesses and how it effects you. However, when they are understanding or accepts you as you are illnesses and all it takes a large load off your shoulders or chest.
It is the people who do not understand or do not love you for the way you are makes it extremely hard to tell as you are even more scared to tell them as they can go either way with the response. If you tell someone and they say they cannot deal with you and the illness it is them who cannot deal with the facts and it is not to do with you. If you get told it is over between the both of you do not let it get to you as it is their loss as they are missing out as they have lost an amazing person as we are all stronger than normal people cause we have not gave up fighting to try and lead a normal life.
Bottom line is with dating and relationships communication is the vital part that holds it together as well as the two in the relationship making it work well. I personally cannot tell you when it is the correct time to tell you partner about you illnesses in full because it is only you that can tell when that time is right.
When it comes done to sexual activity it would be up to yourself and your partner to agree when it is the right time to do it and when you are not in any pain in a flare as it can be a bit embarrassing if you have an accident whilst doing the act. I am not saying to not do any of it just do it when you are both comfortable and not embarrassed. I have not had any surgery as yet so I do not have any scars from procedures at present but I do have stretch marks and I think they are annoying and embarrassing at times. However, if your partner loves you for the way you are he or she should take the scars well if they see them when you are naked.
Feel free to comment or email me personally if you need any other advice about dating =)
No comments:
Post a Comment