Sunday, 21 May 2017

IBD and women

I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease after months of suffering.  I had ended up in a&e after collapsing in work one day in March 2013 and I was sent home to be seen by a doctor and not to come in unless I was signed off as fit for work.  That day I walked into a&e I was not allowed out again until a month later.

One full month in hospital and I was bored out of my mind.  The first 2weeks I was bed bound and was only allowed out of bed to go to the toilet or get a shower.  The rest of the time if I moved I was taken back to bed again as I was extremely poorly as I had no energy or strength to stand up on my own.  I had needed support off nurses to take me to the bathroom as I was extremely weak.  I was unable to keep any food or drink down and it scared me out of my wits not being able to eat or drink properly.  When I was in the hospital I was put on saline drips and was given special drinks to make sure I stayed hydrated.  After about a week after my admission I was starting to be able to manage food but only a few mouthfuls as I had no appetite.   I had fallen out of love with food as it made me suffer with so much pain I cried until it had passed through me.  This pain was caused by all the ulceration in my mouth as I had massive mouth ulcers and my bowel was also inflamed and ulcerated too.  This inflammation and ulceration was caused by a Crohn’s disease flare up.

Anyone with an IBD would understand how debilitating and draining a flare up can be mentally, emotionally and physically.  It can be extremely painful, you might have to be hospitalised or unable to leave your bed or heavily medicated.


While both men and women can suffer from inflammatory bowel disease, but as a woman, there are a few things I have noticed that are gender specific from help from the professionals and red faced conversations.  There are a few things that women have to deal with when suffering with IBD have to put up with:

1.    You have more favourite clothes than an average woman
I have a few favourite pjs that I love to spend my bad days in.  During my period and my bad days I spend more time lounging around the house in my comfy pjs due to the bloating, pain and the need to feel comfy.  It sometimes helps me to feel better in myself even with the pain and bloating.
 


2.    It can be a bit embarrassing when needing to go and use the public toilets
Most guys seem to be able to go for a poo in public toilets much easier than females.  When you walk into female public toilets there is always one person complaining just when someone makes a noise that is not normally made when going for a wee.  Or someone complains about the smell in the toilets due to someone doing a poo.  So for a woman with an IBD in a full blown flare it is not really ideal as it is embarrassing when someone starts complaining.

3.    It can also be embarrassing having to talk about the toilet to people
Guys get away laughing and joking when they fart but when women do the same or talk about bowel habits it is extremely unladylike.

4.    You get plagued with Juice Plus offers more than anyone in your friendship group
Women Juice Plus sellers seem to target female IBD sufferers and they explain how “amazing” the natural ingredients are in the capsules which are supposedly really good for ulcerative colitis or Crohn’s disease.

 

5.    You own more high waisted clothes than a shop
Some people with IBD might have to have surgery to remove part of their intestine and part of the intestine has to be brought out to the abdomen to release the waste.  The surgery can be done to give the bowel a rest or because part or all of the bowel has had to be removed.  Most women with an ostomy live in high-waisted clothing due to it being secure, supportive and trendy.  Those people without an ostomy use high-waisted clothing to hide the bloating caused by IBD.

6.    You have lost weight is no longer taken as a compliment
Just before my diagnosis of Crohn’s disease in 2013 I had lost so much weight due to a massive flare and my colleagues were concerned with my well-being.  Customers and other people congratulated me on the weight I was losing.  But in my head it was most defintiely not a compliment as it was not intentional as I knew I was sick but no one believed me

7.    Insulting comments like “you have put on so much weight” can be even more of an insult
During a massive IBD flare doctors always give patients steroids to help get their health back on track again.  With steroids everyone starts commenting on how much weight you have gained instead of how much you have lost.  Other comments include gerbil or hamster cheeks due to the steroids.



8.    “I get that pain too” is a regular occurrence
When it comes from someone who also suffers on a daily basis with IBD or another chronic illness such as arthritis or fibromyalgia that is fine.  But when it comes from someone who is describing period pain against IBD pain it actually takes the piss I cannot take it no more.  Yes I have a lot of people in work coming about period pains but I know they known I suffer much worse with my IBD when I am suffering with a flare up.  I am sorry but your womb is not the same as a very ulcerated colon.

9.    Doctors do not take women seriously
Due to stomach cramps being one of the main symptoms of IBD most doctors try to fob you off with it is just women’s problems even though we know ourselves it is nothing to do with our period and it is actually to do with our bowels.  Bleeding is another symptom and some doctors surprisingly does not understand the difference between blood coming from your rear end and bleeding from your vagina.  This is another reason why doctors pass it off as women’s problems.

10. You become extremely understanding to others
Yes it annoys me when other women compare their symptoms of their period pain to Crohn’s or Fibromyalgia pain.  But over the years of suffering I have noticed I am a bit more compassionate towards other women especially when they have to take time off for stomach cramps.  My daughter suffers a lot with stomach cramps and since we have figured out that it was mostly down to allergies (she is only two but with four food allergies that we are aware of to date and under investigation for IBD and Coeliac disease due to her symptoms being exactly similar to both illnesses after taking out everything with any of the allergens she cannot have).  She does know when I am in pain and she is very compassionate and usually gives in to giving me hugs and kisses to make me feel better just like I do when she has stomach cramps.

11. You are an extremely strong person (even when you do not think you are)
On a daily basis we deal with bloating, cramps, bleeding, fatigue and many other bowel related things.  We gain a lot of weight, we lose some too, we trial different combinations of medication to stay at a balance.  We have to face surgery, infusions, injections and we have taken way to many different tablets under the sun.  We also have to deal with rude, judgmental or inconsiderate people and people who just simple do not understand.  We already have to deal with so much as it is but we are still here and still fighting our way through things.


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