Every relationship I have been in, a large portion
of every one of them we have had to deal with many health issues from passing
out with anaemia and being doubled over in pain on the toilet or not being able
to walk up or down the stairs without having to crawl up or down them in pain. Most
of the guys I have been with have walked out the door or ran out in some cases and never looked back or
never got in touch again after they seen the worst I have been with my health. There are a few things most people look for
when they have chronic illnesses and looking for a partner or that very special
person.
1. They hold
your hair back while you have your head in the loo puking your guts up
When you live with chronic illnesses such as Crohn’s disease, you have
more than your fair share of puking. A real
man will stand by your side, he will hold your hair back for you and if you
happen to miss the toilet he will help clean it up.
2. They will
love you even at your worst moments
Between our periods and the lovely devils tic-tac’s Prednisolone, we can
be well… difficult to live with ha-ha. A
real man who you want to stay around, will stand by your side and love you no
matter what. He will understand that
behind all the angry faces, fighting, arguing and mood swings that there is a
loving and caring creature. Prednisolone
is most definitely not for the faint hearted and if he is a keeper he will look
past all that.
3. They think
you are beautiful even when you are really sick or have loads of scars
Living with a chronic illness makes you feel ugly (well it makes me feel
ugly for definite). You look at yourself
in the mirror, or you have a moon face from taking steroids, or you have an
extra bit of weight due to the steroids, or you have lost a lot of weight due
to a flare with your Crohn’s disease. Whatever
the case may be having an illness or multiple illnesses does not make you feel
like a beauty queen. Scars, hair loss,
the pale complexion… if he does not see your true beauty, he is not worth
keeping. A real man will remind you
frequently of how beautiful you are then he is definitely a keeper.
4. They will
yell at the doctors for you instead
There are hundreds of doctors out there.
If you have been suffering for any length of time with an inflammatory
bowel disease, you will know there are also a lot of bad doctors out
there. Sometimes you just do not want to
deal with it… either because you are too sick to voice your opinions or you are
too tired to put up a fight. In those
moment you would want a man who will take up the sword and put up a fight and
help fight your battles for you. If he
loves you the way he says he does he will fight for you until the best possible
care is found. If he shows any signs of
being a hero then he is most definitely a keeper.
5. They will
stand by your side when everyone else does a runner
I have dated a
few guys in my time, yes I know I am still young. Most of them had ducked at the first sight of
a sniffle. To be honest, most guys who
do that are most definitely not that into you in the first place. But you really do not want a man like that
anyway as he would run away eventually. You need a man who loves you no matter
what the future will hold. You want a
man who is willing to ask for your hand in marriage or stick with you no matter
what happens even if you are diagnosed with an incurable illness or diagnosed
with secondary illnesses with your IBD. You
will need a man who will stick with you for better or worse. You need a man who will love you come what
may and you deserve that. A man who
lives up to the vow “in sickness and in health” will be the man who is a keeper
even if he is not married to you as long as he stick with you through every up
and every down in your life that is what matters the most.
To anyone who has had a man scorn at you because you are too
sick due to your illnesses. REMEMBER you
are still very valuable. The man who
runs away at the slightest sign of trouble is not worth your time. You want a man who will love you and respect
you with every ounce of his being. Ladies
you are worth it. DO NOT ever settle
for, or get hung up on, any man who makes you feel like you are not worth his
time. If he gets on like he does not
care about your health or wellbeing then he is not worth any second crying over
if you split up or he eventually does a runner on you when you are at your
lowest or the worst time of flare up and end up being admitted into the
hospital. Apart from running away and leaving you to cope on your own being sick, manipulating and controlling relationships are definitely not good either. They are not good especially when he manipulates everything you say and tries to make it look like you are actually not sick or tries to make himself look like he is more ill than you are for example, you have a flare up with your IBD and he is suffering from man flu, instead of him helping you out he makes it look like he is needing you to lift and lay everything for him especially when you are unable to move out of bed yourself apart from just about getting up and out of bed to get to the toilet in time before being sick. If you have someone like that he is most definitely not a keeper.
